This article called the “Effort Effect” by Stanford Alumnus Marina Krakovsky really resonated with me and my work with children. I studied Learned Helplessness at Harvard as a response to trauma, but it was really interesting to think about it as an ongoing response to learning.
I am often asked how to motivate older children–teens–to achieve and not give up when the going gets hard. I have created a list of my Top Ten ways to help motivate children to succeed, but most important is to learn that you only fail when you quit trying.
1) Create a homework routine with your child. When he comes home from school, help child empty backpack, read everything in backpack, and discuss strategy for finishing homework while you’re having after-school-snack. (Keeping child from getting hungry is critical to avoid sullen behavior and meltdowns.)
2)Help your child hone the “nuts and bolts” skills that lead to good grades: time management, study routines, class attendance, laser focus. (My ninja-loving child especially loves thinking of himself as a superhero with “laser focus.”
3) Break homework down to make it manageable for child: if child has 9 pages of cursive or calculus due on Thursday and it’s Monday, show child that completing 3 pages a day makes the work much easier.
4) Help your child develop a work ethic by creating a quiet place for her to focus on homework and equipping it with everything she needs–pencils, erasers, stapler, rulers, etc. Let your child help you pick out homework items to make the space “hers”–sometimes a pink sparkly calculator makes math more inviting. Creating a space in the kitchen so you can keep an eye on child while you make dinner, and you are both “working” at the same time will help child focus on work and not feel like she’s missing out on fun.
5) If your child struggles with completing homework, create a reward system: when you finish your homework, you can watch that tv show/play that video game.
6) Keep in touch with your child’s teachers so you know what homework your children need to do and can remind them.
7) This is a hard one: if your child does not complete their homework, let them turn it in unfinished and take the consequences at school. If parents help their children with homework, it is impossible for teachers to do their job–they won’t know if the child is struggling or excelling. So help your child’s teacher teach–let your child do their own homework.
8) Support and encourage your child! Giving into frustration will not help him or you, so don’t let it happen. Notice your child’s efforts and encourage him to keep trying. (The Effort Effect!)
9) Make homework fun–multiplication tables can be done while jumping on a mini-trampoline, let your child choose a scented candle and place it next to her study space or get a squeeze ball to help with thinking.
10) Help your child hone the academic skills that make school easy and fun: learning to love books and reading, finding the magic in math, exploring science in exciting ways, and fusing art and physical activity with all the above.
