“A Feminist’s Daughter Finds Love in the Kitchen”…and so do I!

I read many different articles on motherhood with many different points of view, but I found “A Feminist’s Daughter Finds Love in the Kitchen” by Janet Benton to be unique, insightful,and beautifully written.
Benton writes “I know how much the mundane care of children matters. That is why I stop work when the school day ends and greet my daughter with a hug. I may be tired, stressed out or grumpy; I may bemoan the confinement, the repetition, the career limits. But I do it anyway. I pull away from paid pursuits and open myself to the opportunity to delight in my daughter.”
I find myself saying the same thing to my husband often. It is taking care with the mundane day-to-day activities that deeply matters to children–bathing, brushing, feeding. I am never going to look back when I’m 80 and say “I wish I had made more money. I wish I had worked more.” But I just might look back and say “I wish I had spent more time with my children. I wish I had cherished the day-to-day”, because it is in the mundane that the magic happens.
One of the ways I revel in my children and show them how much I love them is by cooking for them. I just might be the world’s worst cook as most of what I make turns out inedible. But I never stop trying. I deeply believe in the importance of cooking with a loving intention for the kids, and there’s no better place to be on a chilly evening than in the kitchen, with Ella Fitzgerald playing, and the house smelling heavenly, and the kitchen warm from the oven. Of course when the food turns out disgusting, it’s disappointing, but we end up ordering take-out and in the end, the kitchen is still a place of nourishment. Some of my favorite times are cooking while the kids play around me. Benton puts this interaction beautifully:
“But for me, the kitchen is a place of healing. And when my daughter and I play our roles there contentedly, it is as if we have stepped into a feedback loop that sends good feelings cycling between us. We are bathing in a mutually enhancing sort of love, a larger version of the circle that breastfeeding or cuddling a baby can create: a give-and-take that affirms our value as parent and child.”
I find this so true for our family.
And when George cooks, it’s even better because his food turns out amazing. Tonight we had friends over and George made homemade french fries. 6-year-old Caroline said, “George? Will you tater my birthday party?” George replied, “I would love to tater your birthday party!”
And so the kitchen works its magic not only on our own kids, but on other kids who enter its warm delightful realm.