Whether I’m walking on the beach with friends or talking to a group of Moms while our kids play, I keep hearing, “Today’s kids are different. They never look up from their phones. Too much technology. Not enough nature or exercise. They can’t socialize. They are stressed, have anxiety, and Covid has made things so much worse. Masks are awful for them. They are cut off emotionally and socially…”
I see exactly the opposite.
As a Mom, volunteer with homeless and terminally ill children, teacher to hundreds of children per year, and aunt to twenty-five children I’ve watched grow up, there’s one thing I know for sure about children: they are resilient, really resilient. I have watched children who can’t move their legs still manage to chase other children in a game of tag, screaming and laughing. I’ve seen children riding their Big Wheels down the hallway of a hospital, a jubilant grin on their faces, an IV strapped to a backpack.
Children can teach us adults a thing or two about finding joy even amidst life’s blows.
COVID has changed our daily life for now, and I hear a constant stream of complaints and fear and anger from adults, but the kids, they are still running and playing and screaming, and as far as I can tell, they don’t think twice about their masks. They put them on and carry on.
My daughter is sixteen, and I often overhear her conversations with friends. (No I’m not eavesdropping! Just walking by! Okay, maybe a little eavesdropping occurs while I’m bringing laundry to her room, but my teens always eavesdrop on me so we’re even.) Does she talk about makeup, hair, boys with her friends? Absolutely. But they are also talking about equity and inclusion, social justice and politics, helping with the elderly and young children. She is President of her Junior Class and a 3-year outspoken member of the Social Justice, Equity and Inclusion Committee of her school. She just started a club called Allies for Racial Equality and more than fifty kids signed up. FIFTY! She started a peer-run divorce support group at her school called Banana Splits, and recently realized that all of the children in the group had suffered memory loss because of the divorce, so now she’s doing a research project on memory loss in children of divorce. She makes me wake up at 6am to drive her to her job at the bagel shop on the days she’s not at school. And she made signs and marched in the BLM protests in Boston while cheerfully wearing a mask.
This is not a kid who’s cut off from life.
Another example of a different child is my 14-year-old son. He loves everything other teens love: gaming, skateboarding, hanging with friends. For the past several years, he could have spent his summer hanging out, surfing, playing video games, but instead he chose to assist me in running my summer camps where he plays endless games with young children, read stories, assists in painting, theatrical productions, and new version of Hide and Seek. At the end of the summer, he asked me to donate his pay to the Boston Children’s Hospital. Last year, when our dear friend was dying of cancer and didn’t have money to pay for her medical bills, my son asked me to sell his vintage arcade game and donate the money to her, $2,500.00, which we did. When he grows up, he says he wants to be a librarian, a bartender, and work with the elderly.
This is not a child who is cut off emotionally.
Some people say, “Well that’s just your kids.” But it’s not.
Last night I taught a first piano lesson to a wild red-headed 6-year-old boy. He sat down at my piano for a solid hour and played gorgeous songs with full chords! He’s never had an actual lesson. He taught himself to play from his Ipad. At SIX YEARS OLD!! (The app is called Simply Piano—try it—it’s fantastic!)
I see the same talented caring passionate personalities in all the kids I teach from every walk of life. They see a problem and they want to fix it: creating lemonade stands to donate money to a hurricane fund or animal shelter; boxing up meals for homeless people; gathering supplies for schools in need… When I work at the homeless shelters, I give the children there paper and markers to draw whatever they want, but they almost always want to draw a gift for their mothers. They are still thinking of others, even when they have nothing of their own, in the midst of a raging pandemic, a brutal election season, and a world with too much technology being used for unkind activities.
If you are worried at all about our children and the state of our world, I highly encourage adults to head into schools as volunteers. I think you might feel comforted and inspired and maybe learn a thing or two about resilience. Kids today are as empathetic and compassionate as they have always been. And while adults are complaining about “the kids today,” they are joyfully carrying on with life. And as a teacher, I love learning from them.
love this!!