Creating a Ritual for Girls Becoming Women

It’s a magnificent time when our girls start to blossom into women, but it can also be a jarring time, as their hormones begin to swirl and their bodies start to change. Creating a ritual to honor their journey, set intentions for their path, and remind them of the sacred miracles of their bodies is a positive way to celebrate their transformation. This particular ritual is for girls, but can easily be adapted for boys, and it’s just as important to remind them of their own sacred bodies, and staying in alignment with their truest highest souls. I have led and participated in countless rituals, and here I will share the parts the girls have loved the most. You can invite other women to join, but I have modified the ceremonies because of COVID, knowing it might just be you and your daughter, which will be just as powerful and beautiful.

1. Gather supplies for your ritual–a basket of rose petals, a goblet of juice, a small jar of essential oil, fresh flowers, candles, fabric, rose oil and petals, a platter of fresh fruit, and some kind of art/craft you create together with your daughter. It can be a beads or crystals to make a necklace, paint a stone, clay to sculpt, floral wire and tape to make a wreath of flowers for her hair, beautiful ribbons you can braid into a headpiece…whatever calls to you–just something you can create together and keep after the ritual is over.
2. Gather four sacred gifts for you daughter representing the elements: a red scarf she can wear or dance with, a belly dance hip scarf and veil, a wooden box filled with sea glass, seashells, glitter, or pieces of paper with love notes, a wreath of flowers for her hair, a small bouquet tied with a beautiful ribbon, a special candle she can light while taking a bath, a crystal necklace, a beautiful stone, a moonstone ring to remind her of the connection between her body and the moon. a rainbow silk veil… Gifting a book like “Women Who Run with the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes is something she can keep forever.
3. Create a sacred space. Clean an area and “set it apart” by making it beautiful. Hang/Drape fabric, set real candles around, buy/pick fresh flowers, and set a bowl of warm water at the entrance to the space, filled with rose petals and a few drops of rose oil. Lay a fluffy towel next to it, to wash your feet and your daughter’s feet before entering the space. You can wear whatever you want, but it can be extra magical to wear white, or red, and wear something special that marks this ritual.
4. Turn on music to enrich the space–I like Dead Can Dance pandora.
5. Begin by inviting your daughter into the space and lighting one candle, saying an intention aloud: “I want to honor the divinity in you, and your sacred path forward into womanhood.”
6. Have your daughter take that candle and light the other candles. She can be silent or state aloud her own wishes for her path.
7. Sit on the floor and take three deep breaths together. Tell her whatever you want her to know for her journey, just be sure to make it positive, beautiful, and sacred. This is your opportunity to frame this journey as positive. Tell her the connection of the female body to the moon, the original meaning of the word “menses” is moon and month. In ancient times, when women lived without electricity their menses cycled with the moon. The moon is connected to the female body and to the tides of the sea, keeping us connected to the ancient wisdom of the earth.
8. If you have a group of women present, pass around the goblet of juice. Each woman holds it and says a one word wish for the daughter’s journey into womanhood. Your daughter holds it last and drinks from it. And/or pass around a basket of rose petals. Have each woman hold the basket and say a one word wish for your daughter’s journey, dreams, body wisdom… then sprinkle the rose petals over your daughter’s head, while she’s sitting or dancing.
9. Have every woman state their name, their mother’s name and grandmother’s name and that you accept your daughter into your life as a woman. Example: ‘I, Marci Darling, Daughter of Marissa Eliza Johnson, Granddaughter of Guadelupe Beltran, accept Annabelle Daisy Sunshine into my life as a woman.
10. Make the craft or artwork together, talking and laughing and telling stories about the journey to womanhood. If you don’t want to tell your own stories, tell her a myth or fairy tale about blossoming womanhood from Women Who Run with the Wolves. Put the wreath on her head, the necklace around her neck, or whatever you are making.
11. Give your daughter her gifts. Wrap them in a beautiful way, so she can unwrap each sacred gift. Tell her the story of why you chose each gift.
12. Create a Sacred Journey Mission Statement: Brainstorm with your daughter what kind of journey she wants to be in alignment with and write them down on a small poster for her to hang in her room, things like: I fill my journey with sacred nourishment for my body and soul, kindness, love and laughter. I dance with the earth, moon, and stars. When I feel blue, I choose to dance, jump on the bed, or walk in nature, and feel a golden waterfall of light pouring over my head, reminding me I am loved, I am divine, and I am beautiful.
13. DANCE! I love the song I love Ariadne or Rakim by Dead Can Dance. Dance, laugh, be light, close your eyes if you want, and move and breathe together. If you have fabric, use it as a veil–swirl it around your daughter, PLAY!
14. End the ritual with a feast. Keep the beautiful music going, bring out the platter of fresh fruit, eat to bring you back into the world, talk and dance.