How can we help people who are deeply grieving?
I recently took my kids over to visit a family that was in deep stunning grief. Afterwards I worried that it was too much for my kids, after enduring all of our own bone-burning loss and grief.
My primary goal was always to protect their childhood as long as possible, but I couldn’t change anything that happened. All I could do was walk through the fire next to them.
And then, after time had passed, I realized there was a gift in our grief, the gift of compassion and kindness, the gift of being able to walk back into the fire for someone else and just be with them for a while, without turning away, witnessing their grief and carrying it with them for a little while.
I think it can be hard to know how to help those swimming in the sacred waters of grief.
In my own experience, I found that the best thing you can do is just show up. If they are home, sit with them, listen, hold them while they cry, make them laugh, (I do this by showing them how I’m practicing my skipping after hip surgery which is always a good laugh.).
It is far more helpful to show up than to say “Call me if you need anything.”
Drop off groceries, plant flowers, leave them a jar of honey or jam on their porch with a note that says “Thinking of you.”
These small acts of kindness are more powerful than you can imagine.
