“You Must Move Through the World in a Way that Enchants You!”
March 19, 2023
“You must move through the world in a way that enchants you!”
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“You must move through the world in a way that enchants you!”
“The only people that interest me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’”…
Which might explain my eclectic group of eccentric friends and why I was drawn into the theater and circus life, the type of life who attracts people who choose a life of freedom over a life of fancy cars and big houses…
As we checked out, we did a little Game of Thrones photo shoot in the empty rooms we walked through. Mind you, my kids are too young to watch it, so it was just me living my Mother of Dragons fantasy because I so resonate with the character: I feel like I’ve spent a long night in a fire, burning with grief and love and heartbreak, and now as the fire simmers down, I emerge, not burnt and weak, but stronger, braver, with my arms full of fierce baby dragons.
Today, without knowing why, I found myself driving to the cello store, then hiking around my backyard forest with it in my arms. I sat down on an ancient rock and moved the bow across the strings until it finally started to fill the air with its sumptuous sensual tones. I wanted to play it by the fire and by the waterfall. I wanted to play for my pink flowers, dripping ferns, and fairy rocks. This time the cello didn’t make me weep, it made me laugh in delight and skip back down the hill.
I want to preserve its lessons in my memory. Like others may have a sacred box to hold incense, exotic spices, or rubies, I have an exquisite little box in my soul that holds The Razor’s Edge. I am so grateful for the paths it opened up to me: reading the sacred Hindu books of India, the desire to travel, backpacking around Europe, going to school in Paris, and feeling like richest person in the world when I am sitting on a bench with a hot cappuccino in one hand and a book in the other.
Then there was the daily dancing for no reason at all. It didn’t matter if things were going well, or the world was crashing down around their ears, they danced together through it all.
I saw firsthand how dancing can instantly change the energy in any situation, shake off stress, tears to laughter, mundane to magic, grumpiness into giggles…
He’s full of wisdom I still live by:
Count your cookies, not your problems.
Early bird gets the worm. But cookie tastes better than the worm. So let me sleep in.
No cry because a cookie is finished. Smile because cookie happened.
Home is where the heart is. The heart where the cookie is. Math clear: Home is the cookie.
The truth of my life is… without cookies I too am just a monster.
“Hold on, I didn’t meet him at Victoria’s Secret. I met him at 7-11. And that’s true about the broken ribs after being beaten up, but let me start at the beginning of my time as a betrunner for legendary director and screenwriter, James Toback.
It all began with my sugar plum dreams…
Then I thought, I wonder if Anger Gardening is a form of therapy?
If it’s not, it should be. It’s dazzling in its wildness and simplicity. I watered my soul garden with my tears and my rage, then lifted my face to the rain and felt my soul bloom into a thousand blossoms lit by fireflies.
Then again, my Mom is still my Mom, whether she’s able to respond to us in way we understand or not. She is living in a spiritual tender world, a world that doesn’t make sense to me, or those of us currently anchored in the concrete world.
